harleyk

Dude, in case you haven’t heard: it snowed in DC this past weekend. It snowed a lot.

I was able to spend some time in doors away from school, work, and people. I was with the ones I love and I’ve come to the realization of five things.

1) I love the snow. I never could live in a state where it doesn’t snow (see-ya Arizona). Even when I have to dig my car out from under 2 feet of snow I love it (see-ya SoCal). Even when the threat level of skidding into oncoming traffic is nuclear white I can’t think of precipitation I’d rather drive in.

2) I hate housework. Leave me home alone for a few days and the house withers and dies. I should be ashamed of my entropic ways, but the clean-house process is not worth it.  There was nothing free about my free day today. I was a prisoner made to dance to the jailhouse rock of a capricious 2-year old and a hormonal wife. As far as my Preg-o-meter is dialed correctly, my wife is still 3 months away from nesting, yet I scrubbed like she was due yesterday. Spring cleaning came early despite DC white out conditions. Before you get all permalinky on me and reply comments like, “Whatevs, jerk, she’s carrying your baby,” and “She should clean you out to the curb,” please know I kid. Mildly.

Wendy does do a lot of stuff around the house when I’m not around but it doesn’t take a PhD to notice a proportion: the pregnanter my wife gets the harder I work. I am Winterella; just compare our lists.

My list:

bathroom floor, tub, toilet, bedroom, vacuum, child entertainment, dishes x 3, dishwasher x 2, kitchen floor

Her list:

Organize maternity wardrobe, blogging (notice the time stamp), come up with more stuff to clean

3) I love napping. Put a gun to my head and ask me to choose between death and the prospect of no napping and I would probably have to sleep on it. Napping is life. It is beauty draped in a snow-feather white blanket and tucked carefully into droopy eyelids. How can anyone choose to work a full day without one? The thought of a full-day’s work exhausts me. I know napping’s salubrious benefits, but health or no I must pay obesience to Lord Circadian Rhythm. Lest ye think I laze remember my biology may have something to do with it.

I once had a job. I once had a full-time job and periodically I would slip away when the world needed me most to a men’s bathroom shower stall to find a 3-foot vinyl dressing bench to catch a 20. Even now my current lab was selected not only on the excellence of the research, or the sanity of co-workers, or the availability of funding, but on my proximity to anything reclining or semi-plush carpeting. Just writing about it makes…me…so <yawn>…

…

4) I could play the gi’tar all day. All day long.

5) I love the fam. Nothing makes me happier than putting up with shinanigans and pots and pans esp. when they belong to these two:

 

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I’m bowl legged. I’ll probably go bald. I fight terrible bouts of canker sores.

And I’m short.

Today I know why I’m short, and the answer isn’t, “Humility.” Some people like to shake what their momma gave them. I’d just prefer to grow what my momma gave me. But unfortunately there’s not much to grow.

Height’s heritable linkage is obvious, and plays out everywhere in families: My mom is short = I’m short. Wendy’s dad is tall = Wendy’s tall. But no one knows what is being passed to generations.

Scientists (article) analyzed almost 5000 individuals and found a reason for height difference. Weeden’s group discovered a HMGA2 gene SNP associated with height. Homozygous dominants can expect to be 0.8 cm taller than homo. negs. I don’t know my genotype, but it’s nice to know I can feel comfortable with blaming my parents. The exact nature of the gene isn’t known, but scientists speculate it may increase cell proliferation. This gene could provide interesting investigations into cancer. Taller people have a higher incidence of cancer perhaps due to proliferative genes like HMGA2.

Go ahead, enjoy your 0.8 cm’s of height. I’m fine with being closer to the ground and not dying of cancer.

PS Today a doctor said I have Gilbert‘s disease. Add that to my list.

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